had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
