Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
