True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
