I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
