I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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