I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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