He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
