Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
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So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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