Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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