i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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