There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
