She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
