Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He did a backflip because drugs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
