Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
