You're a womanizer and a bitch.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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