Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
