He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
