You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
