The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drake has all the answers
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize