I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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