weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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