I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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