why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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