I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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