that's an acceptable place to lick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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