She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
