I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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