Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
