I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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