..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize