I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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