Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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