I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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