let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize