Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
being pregnant is like rehab
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
