I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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