I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
