bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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