Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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