Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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