wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
