Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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