That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy