I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...