drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.