I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
