We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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