the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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