need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
