All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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