There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he shaved USA in his pubs
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize