and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I need to sanitize my soul.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
