Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
