He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
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