There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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