The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize