i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
