He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
